Date of Award

2-17-2011

Document Type

Dissertation

Degree Name

Doctor of Philosophy (PhD)

Department

Communication

First Advisor

Richard Fiordo

Abstract

It is my opinion that we, as human, as living-beings, we are complex and complicated vessels of ambiguous intent. We exchange information, opinions, and experiences with friends, family, co-workers, and colleagues, sometimes agreeing—sometimes not. We communicate about ordinary and extraordinary things—school affairs, movies, sports, dances, catastrophes, and death. Those of us who can communicate easily, and pleasantly, well, we are popular, and justly so. Those of us who wish to, but for whatever reasons, cannot, are categorized and marginalized and oft-times ostracized. I am communicating, by writing this dissertation, using autoethnography as a method, as one whom, for whatever reasons, has been categorized as 'marginalized.' Autoethnography focuses on me as the 'marginalized' researcher, and the 'ostracized' other—the researched. I am the referee, and I am the reference. I am complex and complicated. The method of autoethnography is displayed in shape and form through narrative. "Autobiographical stories really make theory and history come alive. There's nothing more theoretical than a good story" (Ellis, 2004, p. 23). This dissertation contains a continual shift in temporal context. It moves often between past and present. It also contains two voices. One voice represents the past, me as the other in the grips of addiction. The second voice represents me as the recipient of the precious gift of recovery; it represents the present. Health communication theory is referred to extensively in Chapters Three, Four, and Five, as a basis for recovery from habitual actions and behaviors as they apply to addiction, and in which, I take an innovative approach to the Health Belief Model (HBM), the Theory of Reasoned Action (TRA), the Theory of Planned Behavior (TPB), and the Transtheoretical Model (TTM). I explore these theories in part, as they pertain to my initial drug use and subsequent addiction. I communicate to the reader(s) both the darkness that lies in wait for those who should chose to follow in my footsteps, and the light that lies at the proverbial end of the tunnel.

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